Gay Hookup Guide: How to Hookup Online

The plan presented here is a simple 5-step approach to successfully mastering finding gays online for no-strings attached gay casual sex. On this site, you’ll find the guide and the right online dating resources for meeting men online. The advice is simple – we’re even told idiotic at times. We’re also told that most gays fail to ‘get it’. We don’t want you to be one of those gays.


This part is for those in need of step-by-step instructions for meeting gays. If you’re not one of these gays, just skip forward. There are a few things we must make clear. This is simply ground that must be covered in order for you to move forward.

You’ll notice from our stats that success ratios vary – for gays met & slept with. This is due to various blocks that gays impose on themselves (i.e.: fear of being discovered, outed, etc…). While this may seem a disadvantage, it’s not really. The flip side is that the men that you do find on gay hookup sites are very clear with regards to what they’re looking for – they don’t fuck around (well … they do) and neither should you!

The above doesn’t mean any dude you meet through these sites will have an encounter with you. You will need to work at it a little and make sure they meet you repeatedly – but that’s easy

You must remember: him agreeing to meet with you NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER guarantees a fling! Meetings are a fantastic first step; however, you’ll need to saddle up (hehe!) and be the fantasy boy-toy he wants you to be in order to get some.

And that’s exactly what hooking up with a guy is – purely a fun filled, exciting, erotic fantasy. What you bring to the table will ALWAYS be more than your cock; you are a fun DISTRACTION EXPERIENCE for the gays you meet.

REMEMBER: you’re often dealing with a guy that wants excitement & a wild time :) , but it must ALWAYS be a FUN encounter. ALWAYS!

To this extent, there are also some realities you need to understand:

- Looks ALWAYS matter. Most of us are attracted to tall boys with killer abs – for a fun time. No one dreams of the pimpled guy with a foot fetish. You will have a harder time finding a fling if you’re not good looking. No one (even the straights) will ‘hookup’ with someone that doesn’t meet their ‘fantasy’ physical needs. This is true in real life. It’s also true online. It sucks, but it’s simply the way the world works. Get over it.

- If you can’t make him laugh you’ll get absolutely nowhere. If someone couldn’t make you laugh, would you spend time with them? No one would. Part of a fantasy means sharing, laughing & having a great time. Who wants to talk about the boring – the mundane – the obvious, before hooking up? NOBODY – that’s who!

- Deep confidence issues are fucking disgusting and a huge turn off. If he’s looking at hooking up, he’ll find someone who can lead – not a whiny bitch. Don’t come off as pretentious. Humility is hugely attractive. Leave discussions of your account balance & expensive car at the door. Instead, swap that shit for good conversation that stirs excitement, eroticism and surprise (e.x.: I was part of the MED CORPS in Afghanistan– I wanted to help.)

- Honesty always trumps lying. In general, people can smell a lie from a distance. Posting pictures from when you were skinnier (more toned, less bald, etc…), will automatically ban you from being a prospect. Sorry.

With the above said, have a great time hooking up!


As hooking up online with gays implies, you’ll need to be signed-up for some sort of gay dating / adult dating / meeting site. There’s a ton of them out there – from the good to the disgustingly crooked. Picking a good site is a most important first step. Picking the wrong one will simply waste your time.

The basic site rules are:

RULE 1: The guy with the six-pack is not real – unless he’s ‘working the night shift’.

RULE 2: See above.

Hot model-type gays constantly get messaged by an infinite other number of less good looking gays. Yeah, you might get lucky and hit one up, but don’t hold your breath.

It’s important to pick a website where the odds work somewhat in your favour. Good news here – we’ve done some of the footwork for you on the end – you can pick any site that we recommended, or join one recommended by a friend that’s used one. Those are generally the best ones to go with, if your close friends can coach you with the hooking up process on that specific site. Our recommendations have worked well for our reviewers – and in general, they are pretty reliable.

You’ll find both free and pay ‘gay laid’ (full pun intended!) sites. The best ones are generally the pay sites. Free sites have a really shitty downside: they attract a lot of shitty individuals. Not that we mind a married dude once in awhile – but the dishonesty is generally sickening. Yeah, with pay sites, you have to shell out a bit of cash. But you get less time-wasting people. That’s worth 30$. At least to us it is.

Expediting your time-to-macking is worth some money. No more going out to clubs. No more awkward situations. There’s value in not having to deal with ‘I’m actually straight’ mind games dudes play in the regular world (i.e.: I want to fuck you, but I’m not gay, etc…). You know the type ……


Nope, we’re not posting any profile samples. Last time we did, everyone started using it – and there wasn’t an original profile t be found on a few of the websites we recommend! What we do want to do is explain a few profile building techniques – follow these to the letter.

Rule #1 – Your Pic is 80% of the Game

The decision to have a fling with you is his fantasy; and his alone. All you have is the power to do is put your best foot forward when he ‘checks’ you out. Of paramount importance is your POFILE PIC, and other pics you decide to put up. His decision to reply or not (to your first advances) is based on how good you look in the profile picture, followed by how interesting your other pics are.

The profile pic you choose should not be just of your face. Out of the 50 gays we talked to, 44 told us that they eliminate anyone that puts up face pics only. Body pics are important. Also – they don’t EVER CONSIDER a profile that has no picture. The moral of this story?: screening is super-important. You don’t wanna end up with something you didn’t bargain for. You wouldn’t sleep with a guy you’ve never seen (REPEAT AFTER ME: I will NEVER sleep with a guy I’ve never seen!!!!). If you don’t show ANY BODY INDICATION, you won’t get as far as you want to get. Period.

Max the odds of passing this first screening. Post quality pics of yourself, showing BOTH your body and face. SMILE in your pics. Picture quality is SUPER important. Get good HI-RES pictures done by your fag hag instead of crappy cell phone pics that look like shit.

QUICK NOTE: You don’t need to be a built like a bull to find a guy online. Make sure that you pick the right site – with a set of gays that are attainable (we’re not saying you’re ugly – just be realistic, please!).

Gay hookup sites generally let you post more than one pic of yourself. Post pics of yourself in fun & light situations. Action shots always work best. We personally use action shots in all of our profiles. Playing sports or doing daring things (like: skydiving, racing bikes) definitely help in showing yourself as a spontaneous and exciting guy. This gets you to the top of the list of desirable men in consideration for a hookup.

Rule #2 – Your Profile – IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU

One regular mistake gays make when writing their profile is offering up too much info on it. 85% of the gays we interviewed picked these items as the top things they look for in someone when assessing “casual sex potential”:

- Looks: Where the face, arms and upper-body build mattered most.

- Confidence: Playful & fun – confident in initial chit chat. Avoided boring chat about work and related boring subjects.

- Humor: You made him laugh all night.

- Mystery: He could tell you were honest yet also holding back something he REALLY wants to know.

Your profile is NEVER ABOUT YOU OR WHO YOU ARE. It’s about WHO HE WANTS YOU TO BE FOR THAT NIGHT. You need to create a profile with info that makes HIM WONDER about you … and pegs you as a fun person who he WOULD ENJOY MEETING.


You will have to work the numbers to get good hookup results. Yes, it’s a pain in the ass – and not the good kind. The advantage of casting your net wide on gay adult dating sites is that you’re not catching fish that never actually existed – you get genuine gays. When your audience is focused, you get better results!

There are guidelines to follow when contacting gays on these websites. The optimal amount of sentences when contacting a guy for the first time is 4 to 5. Messages should be short, funny and FOCUSED on one of HIS PICTURES.

Anyone can tell a fake message from a genuine one. Good looking gays get so many email messages on these sites that you need to have your message stand out. Write something specific AND meaningful. You will reap rewards quicker.

In general, avoid long-winded, boring, introductions. When you get one of these – do you even bother reading it? Less is more in this case. Cut the living shit out of your intro message. Writing anything above 4 sentences basically GUARANTEES ZERO REPLIES. Multiple e-mails to the same guy is also a big NO NO. This isn’t a guide for online stalking. Didn’t get a reply to your initial email? Live with it and move on.

Once he DOES reply back, you will need to move him into a conversational phase. Get him on some type of real-time communication. A lot of sites now have in-site IM. This is SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER KEY. Chatting using email or a site’s built in features has a way of getting boring real quick. As soon as he feels bored, you’ve lost him. The quicker you get him on some sort of real-time chat, the better your chances are.

Your conversations should be light and fun – not heavy and deep. Learn to integrate some basic humour when you talk with him. Making fun of him is encouraged; being an ass definitely isn’t. Be nice. Be funny. Not mean.

Most men need roughly 2 to 3 hours of chatting before agreeing to a meeting – although that’s not a set rule.

Keep it light and fun. After a little while setup the initial date.


When proposing a place for the first date, make sure it’s NOT A RESTAURANT and that it’s not in the suburbs (suburbs = death). Dinner is a multi-hour long commitment – who the fuck wants that. Too much for a first ‘date’. Your best bet is to meet him at a casual place where you can chat and where the time commitment is low for both of you (you may not like him – remember that too, you horny fuck!).

Lounges generally work well. ALWAYS set up the time for the date to be around 7:45 PM. At that time, the lounge is always empty, and the music is low. The couches are ‘stupid comfortable’ and intimate. This gives you a good level of intimacy – and you can use your best weapon (sly sly sly words). You get him to relax on a couch instead of a boring, old, stiff chair. Make sure that the place has food to nibble on, in case you both get hungry.

Don’t get drunk unless he leads. If he does drink, do feel obliged. Don’t offer hard liquor unless he asks or it’s ‘on the house’. Do ask her if he wants something to eat. It’s the polite thing to do. Do ask how his day’s going & what was good / bad about it. And if it had been an ideal day, what it would have been like – for HIM.

You need to have INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS when you’re on this date. Light & funny stories are great. Avoid the totally boring shit – forget work & model-ship making. ALWAYS transition out of work talk into LIFE TALK. We can’t stress this last point enough: MAKE HIM LAUGH. A good time = HOOKUP.


At this point, he should be good to go back home with you. REMEMBER: You’re always better off taking a cab with him rather than driving. This is an opportunity to make out with him in the back seat (not in Texas though…) and get him ready for the main event.

Meeting gays on these gay hookup sites gives you one of two possible outcomes. He’ll either leave, or you’ll sleep with him. If you’re into hour #2 at the lounge, it’s a good sign that he wants you.

When ready to leave, always ask about where you should go together. Single gays generally like to go to their loft (read: home, apartment, whatever) – it’s more comfortable + safe , etc…; it’s a familiar ground for them – especially the insecure ones. If you’re making out with him in the cab (HINT: you should be by now), you can move to the bedroom as soon as you enter his place. If not, pour a drink for both of you and have a ½ hour “makeout” session. Then, see above!

The last piece of advice we have for you is that you should make sure you get his phone number. Goes without saying that if you both had fun, he’ll want to see you again (and again, and again, and again…)

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